Chapter 2- Waiting room

"Through me you enter the woeful city,

Through me you enter the eternal grief,

Through me you enter among the lost,

Justice moved my high maker:

The divine power made me,

The supreme wisdom and primal love.

Before me nothing was created

If not eternal, and eternal I endure

Abandon every hope, you who enter"

I must have read it a thousand times, and in several languages, and when someone asked what did it mean, I replied alike Virgil did to Dante:

 

"Here must all fear be left behind;

Here let all cowardice be dead.

We have come to the place that I told you,

You will see the wretched people,

Who have lost the good of intellect."

The weak-end went and so did Monday's morning, I was anxious, so anxious that fear did not have space in my heart… Although the waiting for results gave me, time to think, a lot of time to think… Time seemed to stop as my mind travel through all possible rational paths, all the future judgment I'd face and the sacrifices I would have to make.

Half an hour into my thoughts and I scared the crape out of myself. I was shivering, and walking the room from side to side… Jack and DeWinter, marveled such impatience and stress, they repeatedly advised me to calm down, to sit and let my heart steady itself.

"Please, calm yourself down. Or we'll have to be here for a sonography and a heart transplant." Joked Jack as he tried to make me take a sit "Now then, sit here I'll fetch something for you to drink to calm you down."

DeWinter then asked me "How scared are you?"

"Very Scared, I think this is the most scared I've ever been in my entire life"

"Then why keep up this futile promise of yours, you have more to lose by keeping this, than from backing out. You're an economist you do the math!"

"You're right, I have a lot to lose if I come through to my ideals, and comply with the promise I made as a younger man. I also know that society won't blame me for backing down, after all it's not my child and I don't have any emotional attachment with her. But it's just about me; this is about life, and preserving it. I'm against the death penalty no matter how horrific or misguided were the deeds, why should I condemn someone who with no deeds at all to face a penalty that not even Satan would face?"

"But it's her decision, not yours."

"Once more you're right, but I'm not forcing her into anything, well maybe I did, but to give her another option instead off choosing abortion, and save her from any consequence… In life you have to face the consequences of your acts, and not give them to someone else. Otherwise you're building an individualistic and selfish society… Thank you"

"Thank you? For what?"

"You've just reminded me, why I'm doing this, and the good part of all of it. You've calmed me down, so thank you. Just don't question on nothing more otherwise I'll worry myself again."

"Ok, and you're welcome… still you should drink whatever Jack's bringing just to be sure…"

"I just hope he doesn't bring me tea…"

"Why? Tea would be great for you!"

"But I hate tea, instead of having a friend with an heart attack you'd have a vomited waiting room, and no one would like that."

Right then we could see jack walking the corridor back from, coffee shop. Clinic was the biggest in the city, and it was soon to be the only public one. With all the economic regression the government was "advised" by the EU, to make some cut backs in public debt, therefore we're having several public services closing down, clinics, hospitals, schools, police stations, then the government sells the space to some private company for them to rebuild whatever service there was. All around the country, the public services are diminishing to unity so that there's some competition and to prevent some kind of monopoly to settle in. These aren't the hardest times to be living, so I've been told. But these are the hardest I've lived in so far…

Jack joined us, bringing some sodas and sandwiches, both were welcomed with open mouths.

"Why didn't you go in with her?" Jack asked deWinter.

"She didn't want me to, she said it would be better if all of us waited here, otherwise she would stress even more."

"That's odd, but okay" Jack replied "How long more will it take, do you know?"

"No… We've been here only for fifteen minutes, since she went in, just be patient." I replied.

"She must be coming out in a minute" deWinter added.

5 minutes passed and there she was… Happy. It seemed everything was just a scare and that it was all right. We congratulated her, and she turned to me and said: "I've learned my lesson, I'll be more careful from now on, but thank you for your support."

"You're welcome" and as I said those words all the tension in my back was just released, and I felt as light as a feather…

Son of Lies, chapter one. From 2009

Hi! My name is John,


The situation I'm in today, I have my ten years ago self to thank for. The fights I fought for the past 7 years and the ones I'm still preparing to face were declared upon me in a summer night.

Ten years ago I was a senior teenager, having a pleasant evening with some friends in the usual bar, I used to frequent at that time. Me and my friends, in a night like so many others, we talked about everything from, plans to politics, ethics and some gossip for the sake of argument. In that particular night, in the shuffle of several discussions, we somehow arrange to get to the topic of abortion and all its paradigms.

As a precedent pro-life believe, after getting nowhere with all the argumentation, I turned to the female assembly and said in this simple words: "In the chance you're pregnant, with an unwanted child, I beg of you to stand up through nine months of shame, and then for the sake of life let me take care of the poor unfortunate soul. I'll father the poor being, giving him all the satisfaction to any needs there will be."

Three years later, on the same bar but with a slightly different assembly. We gossiped about our lives and al its marvelous ups and downs. And this arrangement of complicated topic connections, one of the lady's present murmured about a past one night stand that could bring more than a night full of problems.

The assembly silence itself and the world seemed to stop for a while. All the focus was now on a possibly glowing star. And then someone popped the question "Did you make the test?" The lady busted into tears, like a little girl and said she was scared she wanted some friend to help her through the test. The group got closer to the little girl and comforted her, letting her cry, until there was no more pain, and fear to wash away, than there was the offer of something sweet to lift up the spirit, but she refused to give in to the enchantments of sugar.

It seemed the little girl had calmed down. And then there was this interview, with questions like "Have you told your parents?", "Do you know the guy's name?" and finally "What do you intend to do if it comes back positive?" The girl answered "no", "no" and "I don't know"

And then I took the last answer to reference my promise of three years before… But this time there was "in the chance", this time I was direct "I'll father this child…"

I remember my two best friends' faces, and at the time roommates, it seemed they didn't know whether to laugh or to worry for my sake. But I stayed the same, with the most serious face I've ever made staring at the speechless girl, surprised by a man that was set to keep his word.

DeWinter, one of my roommates, eventually killed the tension with a laugh, after rationalizing that I've must be joking. "What after all you're the gallant knight who will save the damsel in distress?"

"No" I replied turning to deWinter "I'm not going to save a damsel, I'm going to save an unfortunate soul from the clutches of death and its fiends" turned again to the girl "And I hope, you know, what comes if you decide to take that life you may possibly hold in you, the bloodstain you'll have in your hands for the rest of your life, the nightmares that will haunt you every time you close your eyes. I want you to think about that…" The girl was scared to death and the group, harassed me to make silence and speak no more… for the night was ruined and the party was over.

Everyone left except for me, Jack and deWinter (my roommates), the others accompanied the scared girl home as we stayed in silence and waited to pay the bill. When we were sure that everyone had left, deWinter stand up walked to me and… slapped me so hard that to this day I feel my cheek burning.

"How could you say something so awful to that poor girl?" She asked me, shouting for the whole world to hear how mad she was at me. "Why the need to scare her? She doesn't even know I she's in fact pregnant or not. You shouldn't have done that."

I looked at jack that still sited across the table, and kept silent watching as things developed, finally I answered "Cause and Consequence"

DeWinter was stunt and then she shouted "Cause and consequence? What the hell do you mean?"

"You always nag, about the fact that she never learns that actions have consequences in the end. What better chance than this one? Sometimes instead of nagging and complaining you have to take action, that's what I've done…"

"What if she's really pregnant? Will you face the consequences of your actions? Will you like you said Father the soul that in her?" Raised Jack from his long lasting silence.

"Yes, I will. I'll father him, take care of him, I'll raise him and educate him just like I promised"

"How? How will you do that? You're fresh out of college and you have no job, how will you be able to take care of this child?" Both of them asked, in a synchronized speech, almost like they've practiced it before.

"I have my savings, I'll get a job, and I'll ask for your help as well for my families. That surely will support my decision if I bring it up the right way"

"The right way? What do you mean the right way? You're going to lie, aren't you?" rationalized deWinter while we got up and head our way home. We thanked the bar staff, and wished them a good night, we resumed our debate only after leaving the building.

"Yes I'll lie if I need to." Jack then turned to me and said "Don't lie… there will be no need, we'll help you if they don't." then turning to deWinter he said "Won't we?" deWinter nodded after thinking for a few moments.

"Thanks guys" I said has we all came together to a group hug "But first things first, we have to know first if she's really pregnant, or if it is just a scare. Let's wait for the test results before getting the wells to turn. Will know soon enough what's to come, until then let's just enjoy the rest of the summer".