Chapter 2- Waiting room

"Through me you enter the woeful city,

Through me you enter the eternal grief,

Through me you enter among the lost,

Justice moved my high maker:

The divine power made me,

The supreme wisdom and primal love.

Before me nothing was created

If not eternal, and eternal I endure

Abandon every hope, you who enter"

I must have read it a thousand times, and in several languages, and when someone asked what did it mean, I replied alike Virgil did to Dante:

 

"Here must all fear be left behind;

Here let all cowardice be dead.

We have come to the place that I told you,

You will see the wretched people,

Who have lost the good of intellect."

The weak-end went and so did Monday's morning, I was anxious, so anxious that fear did not have space in my heart… Although the waiting for results gave me, time to think, a lot of time to think… Time seemed to stop as my mind travel through all possible rational paths, all the future judgment I'd face and the sacrifices I would have to make.

Half an hour into my thoughts and I scared the crape out of myself. I was shivering, and walking the room from side to side… Jack and DeWinter, marveled such impatience and stress, they repeatedly advised me to calm down, to sit and let my heart steady itself.

"Please, calm yourself down. Or we'll have to be here for a sonography and a heart transplant." Joked Jack as he tried to make me take a sit "Now then, sit here I'll fetch something for you to drink to calm you down."

DeWinter then asked me "How scared are you?"

"Very Scared, I think this is the most scared I've ever been in my entire life"

"Then why keep up this futile promise of yours, you have more to lose by keeping this, than from backing out. You're an economist you do the math!"

"You're right, I have a lot to lose if I come through to my ideals, and comply with the promise I made as a younger man. I also know that society won't blame me for backing down, after all it's not my child and I don't have any emotional attachment with her. But it's just about me; this is about life, and preserving it. I'm against the death penalty no matter how horrific or misguided were the deeds, why should I condemn someone who with no deeds at all to face a penalty that not even Satan would face?"

"But it's her decision, not yours."

"Once more you're right, but I'm not forcing her into anything, well maybe I did, but to give her another option instead off choosing abortion, and save her from any consequence… In life you have to face the consequences of your acts, and not give them to someone else. Otherwise you're building an individualistic and selfish society… Thank you"

"Thank you? For what?"

"You've just reminded me, why I'm doing this, and the good part of all of it. You've calmed me down, so thank you. Just don't question on nothing more otherwise I'll worry myself again."

"Ok, and you're welcome… still you should drink whatever Jack's bringing just to be sure…"

"I just hope he doesn't bring me tea…"

"Why? Tea would be great for you!"

"But I hate tea, instead of having a friend with an heart attack you'd have a vomited waiting room, and no one would like that."

Right then we could see jack walking the corridor back from, coffee shop. Clinic was the biggest in the city, and it was soon to be the only public one. With all the economic regression the government was "advised" by the EU, to make some cut backs in public debt, therefore we're having several public services closing down, clinics, hospitals, schools, police stations, then the government sells the space to some private company for them to rebuild whatever service there was. All around the country, the public services are diminishing to unity so that there's some competition and to prevent some kind of monopoly to settle in. These aren't the hardest times to be living, so I've been told. But these are the hardest I've lived in so far…

Jack joined us, bringing some sodas and sandwiches, both were welcomed with open mouths.

"Why didn't you go in with her?" Jack asked deWinter.

"She didn't want me to, she said it would be better if all of us waited here, otherwise she would stress even more."

"That's odd, but okay" Jack replied "How long more will it take, do you know?"

"No… We've been here only for fifteen minutes, since she went in, just be patient." I replied.

"She must be coming out in a minute" deWinter added.

5 minutes passed and there she was… Happy. It seemed everything was just a scare and that it was all right. We congratulated her, and she turned to me and said: "I've learned my lesson, I'll be more careful from now on, but thank you for your support."

"You're welcome" and as I said those words all the tension in my back was just released, and I felt as light as a feather…