Living in regret

My shelves are full of memories, from happy times to less happy times, from reality and from fantasy, from glory and romance to crime and punishment. I feel old for having so many things to remember…

To me the expression "going on a journey through memory lane" seems to cut it too "short". I always feel like my life was so filled, but now is just a disappointing wreckage of the speeding cart it once was. More than I can possible count I hoped for never land, my kingdom of fantasy, where I would restore forever in my youth, dreaming playing and finding an adventure somewhere behind a mountain, beneath the ocean; over the sky, and beyond the canyon. Huff… But none of that's possible…

"CARPE DIEM!!" I hear loud and clear from people of interest, "death does not take a breather just because you when in a trip via memory auto way". But no matter how true it is that doesn't change the fact I wish I was innocent like I was once, to the time where going to class did not felt like pulling a gun to my brain and shoot every twenty seconds, when boredom wasn't even a known word and if we felt like something wasn't fun, we would get up and run around it making it more like we wanted, and specially, when masturbation was not just and end of the day pain killer.

This seems like a middle aged man is writing his crisis for everyone to read, which would be true if I'm dated to meet death when I complete 40.

But I shouldn't be here just ranting about my social awkwardness problems, that wouldn't be fair to those who actually think this is lecture like economic blog.

So here it is for the world.

My country has an expiration date much more short than my own.

Germany think that everyone has already forgot about what happened with their third Reich, and want to re-gain the "most hateful country" title by refusing to help Greece.

USA… it's pointless to rant about them nothing that I say will even scratch the surface.

Asia is paradise for any business.

Africa wants' to be a colony of the highest bidder.

And the rest? They'll burn or up out this whole mess.

But hey we have to give a big round of applause, to the socialist policies that just keep on adding gasoline to this bun fire.

See you all

JSKofL

P.S.: some more words before I leave… facebook, twitter, myspace this would be pretty good ideas in a perfect world, but to me they just a frustration mechanism that leaves me sitting in infront the computer saying "What the Fuck" "fuck you" while I point my middle finger towards the non functional webcam

"Esta é a madrugada que ele esperava, o dia inicial inteiro e limpo, onde emergimos da noite e do silêncio e livres habitamos a substância do tempo."

Sophia de Mello Breyner Andresen

What is money?

It's said too many times that Money doesn't bring happiness, later someone added, but it helps.

And it is true. Yet we adore this "money", some do even pray for it, but what is it really? Can you eat it? No! Can you wear it? No! Does it shelter you? No! Does it keep you warm? No! Does it come to your house at night tapping your knees and ask you if you lost weight? No!

So why do we adore it so much? Because it helps.

We all have a big adoration for this "money", some have even said that it is the work of the devil, others that it is a miracle, some find this money through the years, others from day to night, and there are those that live without it at all.

€ 20, 500$, £1000, 20000¥? What is this worth? Trade.

In all the adoration and the continuous exploitation of this "money" and the trade it provides, or if you wish, the help it gives. Hides the truest fact about it.

It's only paper!

Maybe not "only" but it is paper, a nice paper that we so much love, but it's really not very different form the paper I use to wipe my ass clean every day. If I may say the only difference between the two is that when with shit on it, the first one, we pick it up.

This isn't a rebellious post, because I know and acknowledge the great importance of "money" in our society, and I can't imagine the chaos we would live in if it just disappeared. But I also think that if an extraterrestrial life form came to us would be shocked with the paranoia money brings to our lives.

We study it, we record it, and we measure the behavior of it, but if anyone did this to another human being, in two seconds he would be tagged as a stoker and banned from society. But with money, it's just a study…

We're all mad, that I've figured out… but it could be worst.

John Scar Kramer of Lioncourt

Bolero, the dance of life

Please start the music.






It start's soft and simple, like a baby giving its first steps, a easy set of moves one foot then the other, one and then the other, one the other, one the other…

And then it grows, and the baby gather's strength and speech to its abilities, but it always goes in the same rhythm, one year then the other, one and then the other, one the other, one the other…

Still it grows, adding knowledge to the speech and movement, strengthening itself the young one, grows now in friends and family, in the same rhythm one member more then the other, one and then the other, one the other, one the other…

It reaches perfection, the world looks at him has an example, a motto, a role model, a hero. Taking one challenge and then the other, one and then the other, one the other, one the other…

And then it goes over his head, falls to the grown and dies…

Just like in life, we reach perfection and then we fall.

(i know this is a small post for such a long music but please listen to it until the end, it will be good for you)
John Scar Kramer

I cannot stand being awake, the pain is too much.

Lost whore

I lost my whore…

If you feel in anyway capable of locating her for me, please do, for I've spent too much time sitting in front of my computer waiting for her to appear and give me some idiotic story to write about.

If you are in anyway offended because I'm calling someone or something a whore, I suggest that you think about how offended must I feel, to buy a mercenary to tell she loves me… to tell me I'm such a good friend, a good person, a good lover…

… I'm going against society code of ethics and rules, because society as excluded me. I was found to be under society standards, in order to be a part of it, and because help only goes to those in "need", I was thrown out like the bag of trash they think I am.

Only in society can you find love, everywhere else you'll have to make do with whores, pimps and loneliness.

If you, reading this think that this is nothing more than an encrypted message to some people, you're right.

But anyway, I miss my whore.

If you find her please advise me,

I want peace

Bring me to a peaceful life, that's my wish. I shouldn't rest my thoughts just in prayer, I know that, and even acknowledge that life's meaning doesn't come in wimps and wamps, it needs to be worked and it needs to be… to be… something more. Something that I still don't know what it is, and why should I?

Why should I know, what more is there to life, when I come to you whishing for peace.

Maybe that is it. Work and ignorance. Doing something without knowing what it is or what is it for… Almost poetic.

Life, a lyrical text without form or real object. How Grand!

"Mother! You gave me LIFE and asked me just to give it meaning, but I don't know!"

I just want peace

[Backwards] Benjamin Button

[It took me about seven years, but eventually the time came.]

And those three words were said by the only person I never thought would. And I got to say a bunch of words i never thought i would..specially to that particular person!

You know what, cut the crap!!!!! Get over yourself!

Aging is something you can't get away from, so getting depressed over it is just stupid!!!

On the other hand, i totally get you my friend..Twenty years have already gone and you feel like nothing has been done, but you know what, nothing is expected from us at this age, which can ironically get you even more depressed or help you through wherever is that you're going through..

Make the next twenty years unbelievably dreamy! You had very little power over this two past decades, considering half the time you couldn't even go outside on your own!!

I know you are way better at this side of the road than i am, but you had about seven years and a half of training, so...

"Age is something that doesn't matter, unless you are a cheese."