Sunday, November 29, 2009

Death row is a state of mind...

Family ties…

Family will break you. There's little space for secrets when you come to a family retreat.

It's so funny, when you join twenty and something people with no resemblance other than the fact they share the same blood (by birth or marriage). You'll find yourself constantly in a social dance with no end in sight.

The kids play the games that we once played, the adults have the conversations we'll have in the future, as the and strong talk about the games they played, the conversations they'll have and the love that society keeps pulling away from them.

We sit at the dinner table, because there's no way better of keep all together and still. We group into the according age aggregates, and we talk… freeing ourselves of the censorship we have with a friend, we make jokes and do tricks, there's laughter in the menu accompanied of genuine laughter tears.

Secrets are unveiled in an unsecured manner; the only protection is really to lie… But why should you? In the end the dirt will be in everyone's hands, and the mud fight will be the funniest ever.

You'll learn to keep nothing hidden and give away all the shit, to keep the partners jealously crazy.

Thursday, November 26, 2009

CrappyMusicMoment


I wish you would step back from that ledge my friend,
You could cut ties with all the lies, that you've been living in,
And if you do not want to see me again, I would understand.
I would understand...





The angry boy,
a bit too insane,
Icing over a secret pain,

You know you don't belong,
You're the first to fight,
You're way too loud,
You're The flash of light,
on a burial shroud,
I know something's wrong,

Well everyone I know has got a reason,
to say,
put the past away,

(...)

And well he's on the table,
and he's gone to code,
And I do not think anyone knows,
What they are doing here,
And your friends have left you,
You've been dismissed.
I never thought it would come to this,
and I, I want you to know,
Everyone's got to face down the demons,
Maybe today,
We can put the past away,

I wish you would step back from that ledge my friend.
You could cut ties with all the lies,
that you've been living in,
And if you do not want to see me again,
I would understand,
I would understand,
I would understand...


(I would understand)
(I would understand)
(Understand)


very disturbing

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Monday, November 23, 2009

Sunday, November 22, 2009

After friday

Son of Lies, chapter one. From 2009

Hi! My name is John,


The situation I'm in today, I have my ten years ago self to thank for. The fights I fought for the past 7 years and the ones I'm still preparing to face were declared upon me in a summer night.

Ten years ago I was a senior teenager, having a pleasant evening with some friends in the usual bar, I used to frequent at that time. Me and my friends, in a night like so many others, we talked about everything from, plans to politics, ethics and some gossip for the sake of argument. In that particular night, in the shuffle of several discussions, we somehow arrange to get to the topic of abortion and all its paradigms.

As a precedent pro-life believe, after getting nowhere with all the argumentation, I turned to the female assembly and said in this simple words: "In the chance you're pregnant, with an unwanted child, I beg of you to stand up through nine months of shame, and then for the sake of life let me take care of the poor unfortunate soul. I'll father the poor being, giving him all the satisfaction to any needs there will be."

Three years later, on the same bar but with a slightly different assembly. We gossiped about our lives and al its marvelous ups and downs. And this arrangement of complicated topic connections, one of the lady's present murmured about a past one night stand that could bring more than a night full of problems.

The assembly silence itself and the world seemed to stop for a while. All the focus was now on a possibly glowing star. And then someone popped the question "Did you make the test?" The lady busted into tears, like a little girl and said she was scared she wanted some friend to help her through the test. The group got closer to the little girl and comforted her, letting her cry, until there was no more pain, and fear to wash away, than there was the offer of something sweet to lift up the spirit, but she refused to give in to the enchantments of sugar.

It seemed the little girl had calmed down. And then there was this interview, with questions like "Have you told your parents?", "Do you know the guy's name?" and finally "What do you intend to do if it comes back positive?" The girl answered "no", "no" and "I don't know"

And then I took the last answer to reference my promise of three years before… But this time there was "in the chance", this time I was direct "I'll father this child…"

I remember my two best friends' faces, and at the time roommates, it seemed they didn't know whether to laugh or to worry for my sake. But I stayed the same, with the most serious face I've ever made staring at the speechless girl, surprised by a man that was set to keep his word.

DeWinter, one of my roommates, eventually killed the tension with a laugh, after rationalizing that I've must be joking. "What after all you're the gallant knight who will save the damsel in distress?"

"No" I replied turning to deWinter "I'm not going to save a damsel, I'm going to save an unfortunate soul from the clutches of death and its fiends" turned again to the girl "And I hope, you know, what comes if you decide to take that life you may possibly hold in you, the bloodstain you'll have in your hands for the rest of your life, the nightmares that will haunt you every time you close your eyes. I want you to think about that…" The girl was scared to death and the group, harassed me to make silence and speak no more… for the night was ruined and the party was over.

Everyone left except for me, Jack and deWinter (my roommates), the others accompanied the scared girl home as we stayed in silence and waited to pay the bill. When we were sure that everyone had left, deWinter stand up walked to me and… slapped me so hard that to this day I feel my cheek burning.

"How could you say something so awful to that poor girl?" She asked me, shouting for the whole world to hear how mad she was at me. "Why the need to scare her? She doesn't even know I she's in fact pregnant or not. You shouldn't have done that."

I looked at jack that still sited across the table, and kept silent watching as things developed, finally I answered "Cause and Consequence"

DeWinter was stunt and then she shouted "Cause and consequence? What the hell do you mean?"

"You always nag, about the fact that she never learns that actions have consequences in the end. What better chance than this one? Sometimes instead of nagging and complaining you have to take action, that's what I've done…"

"What if she's really pregnant? Will you face the consequences of your actions? Will you like you said Father the soul that in her?" Raised Jack from his long lasting silence.

"Yes, I will. I'll father him, take care of him, I'll raise him and educate him just like I promised"

"How? How will you do that? You're fresh out of college and you have no job, how will you be able to take care of this child?" Both of them asked, in a synchronized speech, almost like they've practiced it before.

"I have my savings, I'll get a job, and I'll ask for your help as well for my families. That surely will support my decision if I bring it up the right way"

"The right way? What do you mean the right way? You're going to lie, aren't you?" rationalized deWinter while we got up and head our way home. We thanked the bar staff, and wished them a good night, we resumed our debate only after leaving the building.

"Yes I'll lie if I need to." Jack then turned to me and said "Don't lie… there will be no need, we'll help you if they don't." then turning to deWinter he said "Won't we?" deWinter nodded after thinking for a few moments.

"Thanks guys" I said has we all came together to a group hug "But first things first, we have to know first if she's really pregnant, or if it is just a scare. Let's wait for the test results before getting the wells to turn. Will know soon enough what's to come, until then let's just enjoy the rest of the summer".

I followed Jack

"People who cease to believe in God or goodness altogether still believe in the devil. I don't know why. No, I do indeed know why. Evil is always possible. And goodness is eternally difficult."

Louis de Pointe du Lac

I followed jack's advice and arranged myself sometime to see the movie "The Mist". I'll jump the quality evaluation, to say that I cried in the end and I'll tell you why.

There's a lady in the roster of characters that pains my heart to hear speak. Her name is Mrs. Carmody, a middle-aged townswoman with a borderline reputation as a witch and an extreme belief in a bloodthirsty God.

Throughout the story line she preaches an adulterated word of the lord, miss quoting the bible's book of exodus, to explain the event and the monstrosity they are subjected to.

To educate some of you:

The exodus is the book from the Old Testament, and in it has the story of the Jewish people living in Egypt, as slaves. In this book lies the 10 commandments and the 10 plagues, a favorite of the bible freak fanatics and doomsday believer, such as Mrs. Carmody.

Many people confuse the plagues to be an act of punishment, but they weren't the plagues that haunted the Egyptian empire, happened to break the Jews from the chains of slavery.

In no part of the bible does God harm the human for the purpose of solely punish them, in fact God is always protecting from greater evils.


 

I understand that people's humanity would shatter into a million pieces and there would be desperate attempts to end the pain and suffering. And a bloodthirsty God is better than an unknown cloud of white smoke with strange beings inside. I just wish that weren't so…

As the ending goes, it reminds me of the burden to live in pain and the painless idea that death seams to portrait.

The reason I cried? The weakness of the humanity.

Saturday, November 21, 2009

The Movies

I must have forgotten a dozen or so, but this ones are my all time favourites.
Please write your suggestions in the comment box and let's make a huge list of great movies!

  • Beautiful Mind
  • The Man From Earth (soooooooooooooooooo good!!!!)
  • The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
  • Fight Club
  • Memento
  • American Beauty
  • American History X
  • Wall-E (no it's not a joke, it's one of the best movies ever made)
  • Inglorious Basterds
  • Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
  • Requiem for a Dream
  • La vita è bella ('take life with a smile': the best advice I can ever give you)
  • Gran Torino
  • The Green Mile (John Coffey: People hurt the ones they love. That's how it is all around the world)
  • The Wrestler
  • Into the Wild ("happiness is only real when shared")
  • Big Fish
  • Crash (amazing!)
  • Children of Men (long takes, just what I like!)
  • Before the Sunrise
"Many years ago, Malcolm Forbes was asked what was the greatest single piece of luck, that he had in his life, and he said 'I chose the right parents'."

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Forever young 3

"In our society, one thing that pops out, is how often we promise things and how often we don't stick with it... It's like its meaning has been changed into something else.
I don't know about you, but when I think of promises, I think of something that we swear to stand by, on our word"

DeWinter, SATURDAY, AUGUST 15, 2009,

In"You promised me"


 

Keeping what promised is a hard job, even more when we have in the promise sentence the word "forever", like when we said "no matter what we'll forever meet every week and keep in touch"

Thank God we're only young, for we'll learn that in the future forever is never so

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Three shots

In live all we want is three shots;

We want a shot of luck, like wining big bucks at some casino game.

We want a shot at love, to love and date the sweetest sunshine.

And finally we want a shot of Tequila, to forget the downfall after losing all the luck and love.

And thus we live happily ever after

One of the best quotes ever:
"I'm willing to let you go so i get you back.."
One thing about being on the top of the world that is that it gives you a long way to fall..

That's what I'm afraid of the most. I don't want to became paranoid once i get there..
Few months ago, Ginger made me go to the cinema to watch this movie.
I wasn't supper happy about it but as the movie was going on, i wasn't hating as much as i though i would!

Well, all of that got killed to sun shine when this perfect guy with this perfect vision of love, falls for the girl with the dumbest vision of all...[well, at least one of the other couples got the real ending...]
Anyway..



The problem with fairy tales is that they set a girl up for disappointment. In real life, the prince goes of with the wrong princess..
Nevertheless, i stand by the philosophy that a man is a good thing to go home for but an even good thing to come home with. (as long as you realize it won't last forever.)

Saturday, November 14, 2009

I AM SORRY [BTW, i feel it too]

Nothing turned out to be what we planned (again!!!)

We said we'd go to college and we'd meet again anytime we want, but that is just not happening.
I'm not happy about it. No way in the world I'll ever be happy about it. John and Jack are MY people and it sucks wanting to spend time with them and not being able to, sometimes because I'm just to tired to leave my house.

They are responsible for so many things going finally the way they should...i mean, if it wasn't for them i really don't know where i would be right now.
But, as much as they help me moving forward, they made me better. And now, i want better than i did a year ago.

I don't want to graduate. I want to be good, not only after it but until then. And that gets trained. I'm no genius and that is why I'm working harder than i ever did..because i actually believe my cause. Just like they taught me to.
Sometimes I just feel like I'm losing it...
I do not want to became this bitch who only cares about college and have no time for a simple coffee with her best friends. And as for me, i won't. [sorry i got closer and closer...]


But look at upside. It can only get better! It will be better.

Money money money...

Few days ago I've been asked what would I do if i won the lottery.
I'm totally against the concept of games like the lottery.

Things must be earned. Only people who succeed must be compensated.Working harder must pay off.
Well, humans got lazy over the time and i believe part of the reason why is people realized there are easy ways to get what usually takes effort..
Along with laziness, comes dumbness. They don't want to be smart, they don't want to succeed, they have no interesting in contributing for the evolution of their own specy.. all they want is wanting..and have it right away..
Money became the priority because it means you can have. Don't you thing is sad when you ask a four-years-old what he wants to do for a living, he says being rich??? I sourly do. But again, we let ourselves get here.
Betting every week in the lottery is a ritual of those who are just hoping for the easy way to live. But is that even living? Not working...not caring...just staying alive..but what's the point? you must have a purpose. Humanity have just lost sight of what is important...and that worries me.
Why giving millions of dollars to someone when are people who are actually starving to death? How did we let thing got to a place where there is enough money to solve life-death situations of thousands of people and we do nothing about it??

I do not want to win the lottery...More important, I don't want to want to win the lottery.
I wanna get in life where i deserve to, and that gets decided by the path i choose to go trough.I won't let my life be decided over LUCK.

Shouting out loud you won the lottery is NOTHING compared to whispering you got your own fortune...But people don't care about deserving anymore.They just want. They want this, they want that, and they want it the easy way. I guess Humanity is getting screwed up by humans themselves.And that frustrates me.
I'm sorry...

Friday, November 13, 2009

FQU

How can we dream of an united world when not even a small group of friends can unite themselves for coffee?

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

A man for all seasons

This is the greatest speech anyone could ever make against the evils of anarchy, we shall give the devil benefit of the law, for he is not a body of his own, but apart of us. and what's to say that when the last law is down we can stop him from raising and taking control in a devastated society. The law was made by men, for men to protect them of the evils that come of unsustainable freedom.



Praises to the law
John of Lioncourt

Forget chaos and focus on the silver lining

Life pulls you down from time to time, and although you don't like it, there's really nothing you can do about it.

You feel sad for yourself, and life loses meaning for a while, you lay down to calm yourself but you raise up to feel a world, who's weight is smothering you, you cry about the chronic pain your soul seems unable to sustain. Sometimes you even try to get up standing only on a momentous will you feel has you see others do so. But karma is always around us, and brings you right back down to tell you that you're not ready yet.

You may keep trying over and over again in the haste our society is known about, but all that does is feed placebo drugs to a wound that opens more and more at every fall. Until it grows so much that you can only succumb to it and fall into the deepest depression.

It's just painful, and there's no definite cure for it.

Your math may be the best, but you won't be able to ever compute the general solution. Everyone has a different set of variables, everyone corresponds to different theories and properties, in two people no reaction is the same. I can only say that this, in the end, will be an impossible to draw injective function (every object has a different image).

I can only live you with my empirical knowledge of how to handle the traps life sets on me.

When Life pulls me down from time to time, and although I don't like it, there's really nothing I can do about it. I try to forget for a while chaos and focus on the silver lining in between clouds.

But sometimes you just need the rest, peace and quiet.

John of Lioncourt

Life is suppose to be a holyday don't let a rainy day become a rainy eternity, trust me I know about it

Monday, November 9, 2009

2kn01

Well this comes as no surprise, but there's something of with it.

I now am officially the one with less empirical study of love and complementary stuff.

Jack and deWinter have been lucky to be granted the chance of experience whatever comes with love and complementary stuff. Living me happy for them and a bit sad for myself, how sad? Let's say if I had a ruler for every moment that I've been sad for myself sad, it would be something like this:

Diamonds and stuff:

________________________________________________________

Eight years being always second in the national rugby championship

____________________________________________________________________________

Empirical work on love and complementary stuff

__

Hope that satisfies your need to know.

But if you're wondering how can I only be that sad, being love the greatest experience of the world and complementary stuff too

My answer is simple:

After eight years always being second I got used to the idea, so now I have the second greatest feeling in the world, which is being the fountain of rational thought and annexed stuff.

Yes!! My dear little bipsies now I'm the one they come for external advice, I'll be the one who will control their m… no that's not it, I'll be the one drawing the path that then they'll f… no! I'll be the vector of their li… no!

I quit if anyone needs me I'll be the one sitting in the bar with a bullet hole in foot and a Duffy hat drinking milk until I drawn.

Not finding a position of power in others life:

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________(because the line is too long I'll just say "blah") BLAH

OH and P.S.: When i said complementary stuff i was actually talking about sex, but that's secret

Sunday, November 8, 2009

the greatest phone call

Lies and crappy arguments

We've talked and talked about lovers and others. We destroyed fantasies and created new ones. But the truth is lovers don't shout out loud…No! lovers speak in secret and with tender gestures so that it doesn't run away

Hope



It will defeat you
Then teach you to get back up


Because you don’t
Always
Have to hold your head
Higher than your heart

Part IV – Changing times

Sometimes you have to listen
sometimes the truth ain’t good
sometimes you need to admit you’ve failed
sometimes you’re not as right as you should

That talk made me think
maybe I’m too quiet
maybe I’m dirty with the ink
of those who can’t stand to riot

I’ll try to be different
as I now see that is the right way
I’ll try not to be bent
and not to believe everything they say

Friday, November 6, 2009

The game that United a Country



Many times we've seen politics mixed with sport, some have great results others not so great. This time, it went well.
Can't wait for the movie...

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Three in one: Stupidity, Spoiler and This is how you irritate people

Note: this post has a lot of information concerning a series that some of you may be fans of, to maintain your degree of surprise this following post has been censured by the author.

In last (spoiler)day's episode of (spoiler); (spoiler), (spoiler), (spoiler) and (spoiler) are going out to the (spoiler) to (spoiler). Has they're living (spoiler) they meet (spoiler), who's (spoiler) to have some (spoiler) over and (spoiler) the (spoiler).

(Spoiler) feels (spoiler) for (spoiler) not (spoiler) him and that (spoiler) doesn't want (spoiler) to be (spoiler) (spoiler)'s friends. (Spoiler) then goes and (spoiler) with (spoiler) to sort things out, end up arranging for (spoiler) to join (spoiler) and (spoiler)'s friends for next (spoiler)'s (spoiler).

Then (spoiler) engages in a (spoiler) to (spoiler) about (spoiler) and then be able to (spoiler) with (spoiler) and (spoiler)'s friends.

Then there are tens minutes of pointless second story remarks.

But when (spoiler) is in (spoiler)'s house with (spoiler)'s friends, (spoiler) the (spoiler) (spoiler),
(spoiler) talked too much instead of (spoiler) like (spoiler) and used long (spoiler) to describe simple (spoiler) of the (spoiler).

In the end (spoiler) ended up looking like stupid instead the (spoiler) the (spoiler) series portrait him to be.

So this goes to show what I've been saying that being (spoiler) or (spoiler) doesn't depend of what you do, think or say, but how they judge you.

John Scar Kramer of Lioncourt

Proving that being a (spoiler) isn't only up to you.

Still about utopias

We've gather around to create the perfect world, we couldn't agree in one single world so we created three...
So we have our goals, but we still don't know how to get there. Everything is so beautiful when is only an idea, but ideas don't get done by themselves, we have to make them happen.

My part is portrait by the teacher here... I get a good night sleep, I eat a hearty breakfast, I show up (on time) and I pass the buck to you...
But I won't just sit back... for i'm with you all the away, to help in what is your need...
Starting with remembering you of times when everything was possible and bring them back.



John Scar Kramer of Lioncourt,
at your service.
(In search of never land)

Monday, November 2, 2009

John Scar Kramer of Lioncourt.

My name is all I've got, and even it is a product of imagination and plagiarism. But that's not who I am, I'm a self tutored student in search of an interesting master, I wish to create an utopia for my homeland and live in the arms of the mother of all addictions. My behavior is somehow eccentrically in control. I'm the judge the layers all at once, in a court house where the trail is over because is the sentence that's really the fun. I love the most beautiful and despise sadness as a fate. I lock in me monsters of the underworld and angels from the top of the heavens, letting them out to play when strength is nothing but an illusion.

I come back to an original, after empirical proof that there's nothing better. And because the meaning of one name has in a fantasy life, is "trés" valuable, because the name is the only definition you can really have in a virtual world full of questions and unanswered riddles.

So this is a welcome back speech to the ones who care and for those who don't, well "c'est la Vie"!

Is good to come back to the once grown routes.

John Scar Kramer of Lioncourt

I've been on fire when it comes to screw up. And today was no exception.

What pisses me off the most is i knew it would happen this way and i felt no strength nor will to try to change it.And now i feel like it had it coming..

Have you ever felt like this? Like giving Up?
Have you ever LET a bus run you over?




I'm my own worst enemy...
TELL ME WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME!
John will be back

Sunday, November 1, 2009

The Mist


It is one of the best movies I've seen lately.
There are those horror movies who, put simply, just scare you... You know, loud noises, bloody people, etc. There are those with creatures so ugly and so unrealistic that it just takes all the fear away, because they are not believable enough.
This film has that: crazy creatures coming out of nowhere, ugly injuries, some scary moments (I jumped off my chair a couple of times), but it has something else. It has a whole different "theme" in which you see people's fears taking the best of them. You see how humans really are, when in danger, how their beliefs and their survival instinct can make them do unbelievable stuff.
Quoting:

Amanda Dunfrey: You don't have much faith in humanity, do you?
Dan Miller: None, whatsoever.
Amanda Dunfrey: I can't accept that. People are basically good; decent. My god, David, we're a civilized society.
David Drayton: Sure, as long as the machines are working and you can dial 911. But you take those things away, you throw people in the dark, you scare the shit out of them - no more rules.
In every way it's one of the most realistic portraits of fear I have seen in a movie. And although there are limits (which the end might have passed), you do some crazy shit when you're afraid.
The end is, to say the least, controversial. I admit it's completely out of character, completely unexpected from those people we've been getting to know the last 90 minutes. But it's beautiful! A twist in the plot that shocks you to the core, and gets out of the ordinary without being completely stupid. It is unrealistic: the army, the relative "easyness" of the killing, the timing... But that's the intention! And I love a movie where you can't tell what's coming. I love when it ends with you still thinking about it, still rationalizing it.

I went with little (plot-thickness-wise) expectations, and got out with enough to write a few lines of text, so it was good. I totally recommend!

LOve and sEX

"Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions."
Condoms aren't completely safe.
[A friend of mine was wearing one and got hit by a bus]

Music for any bad day that may come





Sound Track