Sunday, February 28, 2010
The ten
- Born
- Sleeps
- Eats
- Breaths
- Jokes
- Loves
- Hates
- Cares
- Fucks
- Dies
Does that make me eligible? Because I don't feel any different and the world hasn't stopped. So what different did it made?
11. Vague
This one is a bonus If you get what I mean
Dog barking at a tree
I've seen a dog barking at a tree, many times. It all started because there was a squirrel and the dog found it funny to chase the little fluffy, but then the squirrel was gone but the dog did bot cease, he kept barking because that was the only thing he then knew how to do…
H20 - What Happened?
Lost (1, 2, 3, 4) lifetime ago it seems
You gave up on your wildest dreams
But I refuse to let mine go
I took an oath, you can find me here
With an open heart and ears
Refusing to surrender
I can't believe they don't remember
What it feels like to be young
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Drink drinking drank (now with a clear head)
Okay… this one is the real deal yesterday I was too tired to connect some dots.
Yesterday I went to a friend's party, it was his birthday, and so I went to meet him in a small bar in Santos. I walked through the rain until I reached the bar, I entered and there he was with his friends, standing right next to the door. He welcomed me and introduced me to the his friend's quartet, it was so noisy I couldn't catch any of their names so for sake of making some sense of this episode I'll give them some code names (boy1, boy2, girl1 and girl2).
My friend went to the bar to get himself a beer, and I was left to make some observations about his friends:
- They smoked like chimneys;
- Boy1 and girl1 were dating;
- They are the complete opposite of me.
In my shock I decided to take a breather and went outside, where it was still raining, it was fresh and it felt great. After a while, my friend came out also, to reply to a commemorating phone call. We then engaged into a chat about nothing and everything like so many friends do. Upon conclusion of this little talk we went back in… And I was offered, but it must be said that the offering was really insisting, the five of us cheerer and drank our beer, then came the shots tow of a black thingy that was rather sweet.
After this I felt like I was breathing fire and went outside to fresh up my throat, it had stopped raining, but I decided to crouch under a dripping pipe to calm myself down, every cold drop that hit me, felt like a reliever. I was making my way back in when I saw my friend and boy1 coming and so took the opportunity to stay outside a bit longer as we developed a conversation around the topic of relationships ( I don't know why, but although I one of the least experienced person in the matter everyone seeks my advice in this precise matter, it's funny). Then we went back in to the waves that flowed in the bar, drinking something every other quarter of an hour, until I decided it was enough if I wanted to drive home in a couple of hours. For the rest of the night everyone of the group, would from now and then go outside to take a breather… And When the clock stroke 4 we were all out and going in our own direction in search of home and bed to sleep in…
And the last music was:
drink drinking drunk
This might come out as a complicated thingyy because i'm a little bit drunk and very much tired…
I went to a friend's party, better call it social gathering in a bar, and it was fun!
I got there it was already past midnight and it was raining cats and dogs, the bar was a small place just fit for a small reunion or something of the sort. I congratulated my friend for the occasion and he introduced me to his peers, who were sitting around a small table smoking their cigarettes and drinking their desired nectar.
As it was a small bar, it was rather choosy and crowded, so I went outside to catch a breather of fresh air, for a while and had a little talk with the baby of the day.
We talked about things and stuff… But when we got in I was amazed, it seemed like I entered the ocean, with its different water flows, people were dancing and putting their hands in the air it seemed like waves in this ocean.
I was offered a bit of poison and to exclude any possibility of rudeness I accepted, I was hoping not to drink too much to keep me from succumbing to it. But I wasn't able… And after a while I ended up on dying on the beach. But it was fun, and now I understand deWinter a bit more, just a bit.
John
Thursday, February 18, 2010
CrappyMusicMoment
Hold on
Don't be scared
You'll never change what's been and gone
May your smile (may your smile)
Shine on (shine on)
Don't be scared (don't be scared)
Your destiny may keep you warm
Cos all of the stars
Are fading away
Just try not to worry
You'll see them some day
Take what you need
And be on your way
And stop crying your heart out
Get up (get up)
Come on (come on)
Why're you scared? (I'm not scared)
You'll never change
What's been and gone
Cos all of the stars
Are fading away
Just try not to worry
You'll see them some day
Take what you need
And be on your way
And stop crying your heart out
We're all of us stars
We're fading away
Just try not to worry
You'll see us some day
Just take what you need
And be on your way
And stop crying your heart out
Stop crying your heart out
Stop crying your heart out
Livin' La Vida Louca
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Masks for the whole year
Yesterday, I saw a phantom singing Opera and a Donald duck dating Minnie, I saw spider-man in a car with batman, but they didn't seem to be fighting any crime or avenging anything… It all stroked me as odd until I figured it was carnival, after all.
Then I started to take a closer look to everyone's clouding, and came to conclude that the number of nurses and policewomen circulating the streets had risen brutally in the past 24 hours, also half of the city's male population had been transformed in their sleep and a lot had become transvestites… Everyone seemed to be masked, looking everywhere around everyone was except for me… And this could mean so much; it could mean that I don't need a mask because I wear one every day, or that I live so much of my life in anonymity that presenting me has myself is a great mask to wear, or whatever other blog's pseudo psychologists invent… I really don't care
There are hundreds of lectures and lecturers, which claim to be truthful and say that people should not only be ride off the physical masks but also the social, the psychological and emotional masks. And I hate those people… Because those are normally the people that when addressing, between pals, subjects like minorities start speaking by saying "I'm not a racist but… (Hypocrisy)". I'm not like that; at least that's what I think.
But then again I wear so many masks; it's very hard to say… It's really a riddle; I cannot say who I am with or without mask. Today I'm a youngster of 19 years, tomorrow? Maybe I'll be a babysitter, and after that? I'll grow to be a proper economist, a corrupt politician, a great detective or a TV lobbyist… I don't know. I think that every day I'll take a swing at a new mask until I find a perfect fit.
(I like trial and fail, because at every trail there's a possibility that you can get it right and every time you fail is a possibility to try again.)
Those that have masked themselves must have found themselves and decided for a little change, who am I to judge them?
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
it's all giggles and laughs until it appears on tv
How funny do you have to to not be fired after this
Monday, February 15, 2010
Velentine’s lament
Valentines came, and for the God forsaken mental health of all the others that are not in a relationship, it went…
And my first feeling about this "holyday" is sorry; I'm sorry for not completing what I set myself to do before this day, now I can't… maybe next year.
Then like so many I rant about the fact that valentine isn't really a holyday, it really is a marketing day, where all the restaurants, chocolates sellers and romantic thinggys… But I really don't mind because if not for a day such as this, there wouldn't be the delicious chocolate and sweets I lode myself into when desperate for something that enlightens my day.
I still suffer jealousy, alike all the ones who are still alone in the day of relations celebration… but I regard it more as greed than greeny like others do… I'll have my time and I'll enjoy it then, I can wait… Right person, right time, that's what poor people's valentine all about after all.
Love is good, love is great…if true there's nothing neither best nor worst so I've heard.
But if it's fake, this one I know some things about, is not as bad as people think it to be.
It's not corresponded…
It's lonely…
But it gives you desire, desire for life and lust… the blood rushes up your head and thoughts turn into mist, reason finds its limits and the body gives new meaning to cowardice. It's a waltz, a tango, a war… It doesn't matter and it means the world. It's a secret that's told only to the best of friends, and then written in a blog for everyone to read… But it is fake… It doesn't matter it's love…
We live in a fake world after all… where so little is real, why should love be so real? Let me drown in the elegancy of the little love I can treasure in someone's little smile…
Thank you
John Scar Kramer of Lioncourt (just to show, what kind of world we live in, this is my fake name)
Friday, February 12, 2010
What to do when really bored
- Open your fridge. Evaluate for a minute how much of everything you have there. Try to think of a recipe only using what you have. Do it.
- Stare at a wall. Try to move it (just) with your thought.
- Try to watch your nails getting bigger.
- Clean up your bedroom
- Draw something. Walk through your house with an empty sheet of paper and every now and then stop and draw the first thing that comes to you.
- Do push-ups until your arms give in.
- Read a book. (You won't get any better than this in this guide…)
- Go outside. Start walking. If you don't know where to go, stop and wait for a bus. If its number is even you turn right, if it's odd you turn left.
- Stare at the television from 10 cm away until your head hurts.
- Turn the image in your computer monitor 180 degrees and try to surf the web.
- Repeat a word until it loses its meaning.
- Watch a 1957 movie.
- Spin around until you're dizzy.
151 (or so) things
Does that mean you can’t dream past today? Not exactly… It means you have to be done with things; don’t let them hover around, unfinished, unresolved, undecided.
The material things will eventually come together, at least in heaven, because (my) paradise features an eternity of everything you can think of! But the other stuff, stuff like being mad at someone you love, like never having said “I love you”, like never having felt love, like never being truly grateful for your time here on Earth, that stuff you should sort out asap.
Anyhow, that doesn’t keep me from dreaming! And I dream a lot, not just when I’m asleep. Because I’m a dreamer, and I’ll never be ashamed of that. So I’m trying to dream about 151 things to do before I die. It’s like a bucket list… Why 151? Don’t know, it felt right. And I’m asking you, what are your 151 things? Or your 4 things, whatever! What is it that you wish for? What do you want?
Go Cinderela Go!
In the days evening Valentines, why not search for the dream.
And let me start with "the one who got away"!
It's the dream… having someone to chasse after, one ideal. She appeared in a glimpse and in the same she went away, you found her to be attractive but that was just a bread crumb you. She's exiting, she knows her things and many more, she's secretive but open to talk to you every single second, you laugh and she laughs too, you savor every minute with her… but then the clock strikes twelve and as dads little princess, in her most delicate purity she leaves without leaving even a hint to what's her name… She left in a two white horses white cart… and you never saw her again, she just left a hint a clue behind, maybe by accident, maybe on purpose, you'll only know when you meet her again…
And a hard journey is ahead of the one who seeks happiness with a mystery woman, must climb the highest mountain and cross the widest river. You promise yourself to cover the whole world and every time miss her for just a second, until she just appears at your door.
With love and Hope
John Scar Kramer of Lioncourt
Thursday, February 11, 2010
The best champagne
"Chef! Bring me the best champagne you have… don't mind expeditor, I'm celebrating…
To my dearest guest or folks are just sitting around waiting for dinner or the next meal, whatever you call it. BE GLAD!!! Our age is turning ninety degrees south. Everything is going to be so much hotter and steamy, all year long.
Go to your banks and cash out every single cent, it will be worthy… the world is changing you can either change before and have a taste of life as an all-you-can-eat-buffet, or you can stand as you do now looking at an empty plate waiting for it to come to you, and face the deception of expectancy and take every second figuring what suicidal ecstasy to take.
Waiter Oh! Waiter! Give them all a glass of your finest wine, they seem scared. Give them all from the old to the youngest. I don't want them to remember this day as the day a lunatic came and in a great extravagance talked about a damnation party… Let them remember like the night when someone gave them the taste of the purest nectar, planed to calm the desires of the False Gods we harvest throughout the years. Let's have a toast!!! TO HEROS!!! May they never quit on us anymore when we expect them to rise.
To politics for not giving way to the future, and making the past come right back to bite us in the ass.
I'm not drunk yet! I'll be… for my hero's have fallen and there's no one I can count on to lift me up and show me the way. And I'm without strength or will to go on… Enjoy your dinner my friends as you see a broken man walk out the door. Savor every bite and every sip… because it will be long before anything taste that good again. L'chai-im!!!!"
*Shoots* were heard outside, right after that misbalanced man left the restaurant. And right after came the parking boy shouting for a doctor and an ambulance, the man had just committed suicide. The crowd gathered in front of the door and window they wanted to see something to be able to testify and sell something to some news network.
I stood in my seat and drunk the wine my friend had just offered me to taste. And it tasted like a Gods tear. Like my friend say anarchy is coming as he wished… So he killed himself. "There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it" a wilde man said that for the first time, and so many more proved it to be true…
Drowned in the best Champagne died a profet, let's see his prophecy come to true (like the goalkeeper defending Alvalade's colors, marveling instead of doing what you could to keep it out)
John Scar Kramer of Lioncourt
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Please acknowledge that sharks cannot play chess
Stop…
(Please do not panic)
Lately, in several conversations, I've supported that too few people stop for a while and consider or reconsider what they're doing, and how stupid their actions are, in account that they did not take a moment to think things over. Also I've taken part in the critic of this mechanized thinking way people use to solve their problems, using some sort of algorithm with the variables that they face and acknowledging the first solutions as to be truthful and correct, not having a broader perspective on the subject. And in the end I agreed to the conclusion that society is building itself into a slaved society by this mechanic and restricted perspective way of solving problems.
I've also taken part in argumentations that today's youth is more interested in parties and raves than the importance which their vote can have in today's and tomorrow's problems. And in this I also found myself that a change of ways must be found, to keep our future from falling into the hands of an elite minority that finds interest in politics and social affairs.
Today, I just listened to our dear Jack and deWinter, talking about several from public administration to education and the state of our country, basically it was the same talk about our society and stuff that I've been listening so much lately…. I listened carefully although they then argument that I just blacked out and stopped giving a rotten ass about what they we're talking about.
And upon hearing them carefully without purpose of disputing or responding to any comment, I found that they began every sentence in on a very similar way, and it sounded like those people that start every single sentence with "I'm not a racist, but…" (I'm not calling either one of them racist, and none of them ever really started a sentence whit this expression). Which is a bit odd, because they were agreeing with what the other was saying, and then contradicting that same agreement, in conclusion they were trying to manipulate each other. And it was fun to watch…
They eventually got tired of agreeing to then disagree with each other and decided to disagree with me. So they asked for my opinion… and to make them happy I disagreed with deWinter proposition to solve the political social awareness problem of our generation and the ones to come… without really saying the way they dismantled my thoughts and breached with the idea that that was the only possible solution, and not just a solution. But I have to accredit them, it makes sense…
But one more thing came to my mind… I thought that we were acting like sharks, tackling the problem without considering a broader view, and broader consequence. We were just moving without stopping to think of other possibilities, we're falling into the algorithm based society we so thrilling try to fight against.
Do you know that sharks (or any other kind of fish) cannot play chess? Even if they were to be propped with the tools to move the pieces?
That's right, because chess is game that requires great concentration and anticipation of consequences that will come from each play. Basically you need to stop and think about what to do. Sharks can never stop, otherwise they'll die. And that's why sharks will never play chess effectively.
That's our problem we behave as sharks when we try to solve anything, we don't give time for one idea to settle we have to automatically correct it, because it's default, it's bound to be default.
So whenever you try to discuss politics stop… and take a broader view and do not panic.
Friday, February 5, 2010
Revelations
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Chapter 2- Waiting room
"Through me you enter the woeful city,
Through me you enter the eternal grief,
Through me you enter among the lost,
Justice moved my high maker:
The divine power made me,
The supreme wisdom and primal love.
Before me nothing was created
If not eternal, and eternal I endure
Abandon every hope, you who enter"
"Here must all fear be left behind;
Here let all cowardice be dead.
We have come to the place that I told you,
You will see the wretched people,
Who have lost the good of intellect."
The weak-end went and so did Monday's morning, I was anxious, so anxious that fear did not have space in my heart… Although the waiting for results gave me, time to think, a lot of time to think… Time seemed to stop as my mind travel through all possible rational paths, all the future judgment I'd face and the sacrifices I would have to make.
Half an hour into my thoughts and I scared the crape out of myself. I was shivering, and walking the room from side to side… Jack and DeWinter, marveled such impatience and stress, they repeatedly advised me to calm down, to sit and let my heart steady itself.
"Please, calm yourself down. Or we'll have to be here for a sonography and a heart transplant." Joked Jack as he tried to make me take a sit "Now then, sit here I'll fetch something for you to drink to calm you down."
DeWinter then asked me "How scared are you?"
"Very Scared, I think this is the most scared I've ever been in my entire life"
"Then why keep up this futile promise of yours, you have more to lose by keeping this, than from backing out. You're an economist you do the math!"
"You're right, I have a lot to lose if I come through to my ideals, and comply with the promise I made as a younger man. I also know that society won't blame me for backing down, after all it's not my child and I don't have any emotional attachment with her. But it's just about me; this is about life, and preserving it. I'm against the death penalty no matter how horrific or misguided were the deeds, why should I condemn someone who with no deeds at all to face a penalty that not even Satan would face?"
"But it's her decision, not yours."
"Once more you're right, but I'm not forcing her into anything, well maybe I did, but to give her another option instead off choosing abortion, and save her from any consequence… In life you have to face the consequences of your acts, and not give them to someone else. Otherwise you're building an individualistic and selfish society… Thank you"
"Thank you? For what?"
"You've just reminded me, why I'm doing this, and the good part of all of it. You've calmed me down, so thank you. Just don't question on nothing more otherwise I'll worry myself again."
"Ok, and you're welcome… still you should drink whatever Jack's bringing just to be sure…"
"I just hope he doesn't bring me tea…"
"Why? Tea would be great for you!"
"But I hate tea, instead of having a friend with an heart attack you'd have a vomited waiting room, and no one would like that."
Right then we could see jack walking the corridor back from, coffee shop. Clinic was the biggest in the city, and it was soon to be the only public one. With all the economic regression the government was "advised" by the EU, to make some cut backs in public debt, therefore we're having several public services closing down, clinics, hospitals, schools, police stations, then the government sells the space to some private company for them to rebuild whatever service there was. All around the country, the public services are diminishing to unity so that there's some competition and to prevent some kind of monopoly to settle in. These aren't the hardest times to be living, so I've been told. But these are the hardest I've lived in so far…
Jack joined us, bringing some sodas and sandwiches, both were welcomed with open mouths.
"Why didn't you go in with her?" Jack asked deWinter.
"She didn't want me to, she said it would be better if all of us waited here, otherwise she would stress even more."
"That's odd, but okay" Jack replied "How long more will it take, do you know?"
"No… We've been here only for fifteen minutes, since she went in, just be patient." I replied.
"She must be coming out in a minute" deWinter added.
5 minutes passed and there she was… Happy. It seemed everything was just a scare and that it was all right. We congratulated her, and she turned to me and said: "I've learned my lesson, I'll be more careful from now on, but thank you for your support."
"You're welcome" and as I said those words all the tension in my back was just released, and I felt as light as a feather…
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
The “I know you messed with my computer” post
Yes, dear deWinter i know you cheated on the test and checked my computer for the answers. But that isn't important, what I mind is that you didn't hide the evidence effectively and then lied once more to me… (I'm getting a little sick of so much betrayal)
The evidences were the following:
- I left a webpage opened, it was closed when I came back
- The top of my laptop wasn't fully open, meaning someone shorter than me, was reading the something from my computer
- The electric cable wasn't well connected that states that someone moved my computer
- The electric cable went around your book and it didn't before I left.
I don't usually check for details but when I smell something fishy I can't help myself.
Please do not lie again.
John Scar Kramer of Lioncourt
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Late night
It's four in the morning, but the Sun is nowhere to be found. I find that funny. It must be the lack of sleep, sorely.
I'm not tired just deprived of sleep, which are two different things, you know that…
Or so I should think… I do have this strange feeling that the only people that read the stupidificating posts I write, do so because only they can surpass my public idiocracy. And so I always feel like I need to explain every single thing, to put everyone into context so to say… Like dreams and thoughts could be explained, well they can, but they never sound the same.
And you have to add the judgment you're automatic victim of for saying out loud the way you truly feel and think. So snobbish, so retarded, so irrational, without sense, beautiful, life changing… it's all very funny, but you're ruining it for me… I don't want to change anyone… not true; actually I want to change everyone. But it's so hard. People think and feel differently, which would be awesome If we were building a colorful rainbow. But we aren't we're building a world, a new one, a better one; can we decide upon a single ideology and go with it… the world would be so much better that way.
Freedom is overrated anyway; only martyrs are truly free, everyone else is just… advertised to be free. "Hey! My dear sir! Would like to have some freedom of speech, where you could say anything that came to your stupid idea filled head? You do? Oh! My dear sir! Have I just got the thing for you. BLogSter, a piece of internet damaged *technical terms* that you can use to close yourself in your room and type things no one cares about but every single people can track you. But you want more? Want to show it to your friends? Then why not add Hi5, facebook, myspace and/or twitter acconts, so that you can show every other house domesticated friend of yours what crappy work have you been doing. Did I just Say "work"? Oh sorry! I meant shittty shitty shitty shitty paper of yours. And if you're not happy ( or suicidal) Why not buy an iphone, ipad or Ishitty so that you don't have to use a blister farm that is your keyboard? Oh! And there's also this new featured that has just come out that's called wave, which is said to revolutionize that ancient email thing that you use to communicate! With wave you don't have to worry about incriminating evidence because you can just erase it all in the end. And voila! A new thief, rapest or killer is born! But because you don't go out that's not something we worry about."
I found in myself such amusement because even dough I know all the dirt I still buy them all these crap. I tell myself it's so that I don't become a so great sociopath as I think of myself to be. But then I stay in my home for whole days checking the empty souls behind all the photos and words in the net.
I'm just as empty as the rest and a little bit more suicidal and unstable. And that's why I can't wait for my pension years.
And that's why it's hard to publish thoughts they aren't real, nor are they unreal. they just are something and nothing.
John Scar Kramer of Lioncourt
Monday, February 1, 2010
Someone owes me money
SECÇÃO IX
Serviço de urgência e transportes especiais
Artigo 64.º
Trânsito de veículos em serviço de urgência
1 - Os condutores de veículos que transitem em missão de polícia, de
prestação de socorro ou de serviço urgente de interesse público
assinalando adequadamente a sua marcha podem, quando a sua
missão o exigir, deixar de observar as regras e os sinais de
trânsito, mas devem respeitar as ordens dos agentes reguladores
do trânsito.
2 - Os referidos condutores não podem, porém, em circunstância
alguma, pôr em perigo os demais utentes da via, sendo,
designadamente, obrigados a suspender a sua marcha:
a) Perante o sinal luminoso vermelho de regulação do trânsito,
embora possam prosseguir, depois de tomadas as devidas
precauções, sem esperar que a sinalização mude;
b) Perante o sinal de paragem obrigatória em cruzamento ou
entroncamento.
3 - A marcha urgente deve ser assinalada através da utilização dos
avisadores sonoros e luminosos especiais referidos,
respectivamente, nos artigos 22.º e 23.º.
4 - Caso os veículos não estejam equipados com os dispositivos
referidos no número anterior, a marcha urgente pode ser
assinalada:
a) Utilizando alternadamente os máximos com os médios, ou
b) Durante o dia, utilizando repetidamente os sinais sonoros.
5 - É proibida a utilização dos sinais que identificam a marcha dos
veículos referidos no n.º 1 quando não transitem em missão
urgente.
6 - Quem infringir o disposto nos números anteriores é sancionado
com coima de € 120 a € 600.
Imdb's list of terminators movies.
Followed by
Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991)Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines (2003)
Terminator Salvation (2009)