As we were heading to this unbelievably great party we ended up not going, I came across this phylosophical question of much importance:
Does conquering the girl/boy of your dreams demand a constant struggle?
I wanna focus on the "conquering" part, as I know that keeping an already grown relationship healthy and alive is an everyday work. And it should be. I don't believe in soulmates and destined lovers, so I think it will never work if you don't care enough to make every day a little different, a little better.
Anyway, the conquering part... and by this I mean that time before you assume a relationship. It can take hours for some people, as it can take years for others.
It's the second best part of "it". This is the time where you fall in love, where you're nervous everytime that person walks into the room. Is the time where you say and do the most stupid things.
Now, can enough time, work and stuborness get you the girl/boy?
Maybe yes, eventually... But what a waste! It's only in the movies that the all-time neighbours end up falling in love, as he saves her from the alliens or something. And in my opinion, that's not fair to the one who had all the work.
"Oh, I realize now that I love you!!"
"Great! But as I was coming near to jump from the bridge because I thought you'd never love me, you didn't even look at me!!! Nevermind, let's be happy ever after!"
This is what I thought 3 days ago. I realized since then, that there's a catch! The only thing I need to get the girl of my dreams is to be myself and wait for her to come. I think so...
There will eventually come a girl that likes me just the way I am - or at least most of the things I am - and I will make her the girl of my dreams (the dreams are efemerous things).
Now the catch: being JUST yourself is one of the most difficult tasks you'll ever do. Not being nicer, nor funnier, nor more sensitive, nor cockier. That's hard and demands work.
So, in conclusion, I realize now that it takes a constant struggle to get someone to like you. A struggle to be just the way you are, so that your ideal match can come and see it.
After you get into a relationship, then you can be as many things as you want and if she(he)'s one of the possible "ones", she(he)'ll understand.
Sorry for how long this got :P
Anyway, the conquering part... and by this I mean that time before you assume a relationship. It can take hours for some people, as it can take years for others.
It's the second best part of "it". This is the time where you fall in love, where you're nervous everytime that person walks into the room. Is the time where you say and do the most stupid things.
Now, can enough time, work and stuborness get you the girl/boy?
Maybe yes, eventually... But what a waste! It's only in the movies that the all-time neighbours end up falling in love, as he saves her from the alliens or something. And in my opinion, that's not fair to the one who had all the work.
"Oh, I realize now that I love you!!"
"Great! But as I was coming near to jump from the bridge because I thought you'd never love me, you didn't even look at me!!! Nevermind, let's be happy ever after!"
This is what I thought 3 days ago. I realized since then, that there's a catch! The only thing I need to get the girl of my dreams is to be myself and wait for her to come. I think so...
There will eventually come a girl that likes me just the way I am - or at least most of the things I am - and I will make her the girl of my dreams (the dreams are efemerous things).
Now the catch: being JUST yourself is one of the most difficult tasks you'll ever do. Not being nicer, nor funnier, nor more sensitive, nor cockier. That's hard and demands work.
So, in conclusion, I realize now that it takes a constant struggle to get someone to like you. A struggle to be just the way you are, so that your ideal match can come and see it.
After you get into a relationship, then you can be as many things as you want and if she(he)'s one of the possible "ones", she(he)'ll understand.
Sorry for how long this got :P
4 comments:
oh yeah...you really are the kind of guy who struggles to get people to like you!!
HIPOCRATE
THE problem isn't get people to love you, but get people to be IN LOVE with you!
That's what I meant.
And yes, I do. To those who, I think, matter enough.
well, maybe we _think_ just to much about how to be. sure, if you want to conquer a girl/boy, you're in the conflict of making yourself interessting and staying yourself at the same time. but, if you talk to her, do you really think about it? i guess not.
and, about this... waiting for the girl ;)...
i for myself don't want to conquer a boy - i want to get conquered.;)
I guess I get what you mean, but what if trying to please someone, being more funnier, nicer, prettier, etc, is a part of being you? Some people just show the cards they have to play, others do bluffs and there´s always the ones that don´t go for the game... Which one are you?
And I agree with Milady, be in love and love are two different things, and to start a relationship you better be in love. Love comes after...
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